


Every Body Hurts

by Alltheshrinks



Series: Infidelity Verse [15]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Infidelity, M/M, Miscarriage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:06:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28341378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alltheshrinks/pseuds/Alltheshrinks
Summary: Title is from the REM song Everybody Hurts.
Relationships: Jake Abel/Jared Padalecki, Jensen Ackles/Jared Padalecki, Jensen Ackles/Others
Series: Infidelity Verse [15]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1886815
Comments: 17
Kudos: 24





	Every Body Hurts

**Author's Note:**

> All of these verses are stand alone and can be read separately, though it is helpful to read the others. The only thing you need to know is that J2 are married to other people, but have had an on again, off again relationship for almost their entire adult life.
> 
> Comments make me insanely happy, I love engaging with all of you. Follow me over on Twitter @tltm78

Jensen pulls the door to his son’s room closed, Tyler is clutching a teddy bear, the thumb of his other hand shoved tightly in his mouth; he and Ella decided that they should start thinking about breaking the four-year-old from the habit before he winds up screwing up his teeth. Right now the dentist assures them that the boy is okay and trying to stifle the habit could be more harmful to his self-esteem than it will be to his mouth. 

Ella is sitting at the kitchen table, a textbook open as she studies for one of the nurse’s certifications that she is trying to obtain. It could open up more career opportunities and a higher paying salary, with the second baby coming, shorter hours would be a Godsend. 

“Is he down?” She asks, not looking up from the textbook as Jensen gets a beer from the fridge and opens it with his wedding ring. 

“Yeah, he’s asleep, finally,” Jensen says, taking a long pull from the bottle in his hand. The boy had insisted on six stories and Jensen was ready to pull his hair out by the time that his sleepy little eyes had finally closed for good.

“We still haven’t talked about what we are going to call this one,” his wife says, turning the page in the book and marking a paragraph with a highlighter. 

Jensen takes another drink, letting the coolness of the liquid slide down his throat. “If I remember correctly, we have discussed it at length, but I refuse to name my child any of the trendy names that you have come up with.” 

“You know,” Ella finally looks up with a smile, “Jensen isn’t exactly an old-fashioned, Biblical name.”

“It’s not Star Child or Blue, either,” he returns her smile and adds, “Maybe we could name her Cindy. Cindy Ella,” chuckling at the name that he had suggested the first time that she was pregnant. 

“I never suggested Star Child or Blue, and Ella was my grandmother’s name, you know,” she raises her eyebrows at him, trying hard not to laugh at how ridiculous her husband is. 

Jensen knows that she is named after her father’s mother, who died before his wife was born, just like she knows that Jensen was his mother’s maiden name. They had argued over their son’s name for weeks before he was born. She wanted to name him after Jensen’s dad, saying that John was a good, strong name. Jensen only agreed if he could call him J.T., which are unknown to his wife are Jared’s initials. 

“Did you want to find something on Netflix? I’m almost done here,” she is back to highlighting passages and joting down notes. 

“I’ve got some work that I need to get caught up on,” Jensen says, still feeling unsettled and guilty about running into Jared a few days ago, right here in their hometown. Jensen wonders how many times that Jared has come to visit his parents and he had no idea. 

Ella closes her book and looks up at him, “You are working way too hard, you know? It’s almost Christmas, can’t you take one night off and just relax?”

Jensen doesn’t have the heart to tell her that sitting, watching some ridiculous Christmas movie or Hallmark’s Holiday Rom com of the week is not his idea of a relaxing or a good time. He had rather pour over claims or write out appraisals any day then to be alone in a room with her. It only makes him feel guilty and like a failure. He can’t even tell his best friend no, with a wife and two children, what kind of a husband is he? He doesn’t like the answer. ‘It’s close to Christmas and then the baby will be here, I would like to be caught up at the office when that happens.” He doesn’t have to say what he is thinking,  _ If there are complications.  _

Ella nods her head, feeling incredibly lucky that her husband works as hard as he does to provide for them and is the amazing father that he is. 

Jensen only feels guilty for a moment for lying to her, once he has escaped safely to his office, he feels such a huge sense of relief that he has managed to dodge another bullet, at least for one more night. 

_ Jared slips into the passenger seat of the parked car, looking around but knowing that no one cares about his whereabouts at this second. Jake is in Sacramento for work and won’t be home for another couple of days.  _

_ Jensen looks a little pale, the few freckles that are sprinkled across the bridge of his nose stand out in stark relief, while the purple smudges under his eyes betray him, announcing the number of hours that he is not sleeping.  _

_ “You okay?” Jared asks, it has been a couple of months since Jared walked out of their hotel room after the news of Ella’s pregnancy and he has been keeping his distance.  _

_ “Yeah,” Jensen lies and Jared doesn’t call him on it.  _

_ “If you aren’t sleeping now, you are really going to be dead on your feet in a few weeks,” Jared jokes, trying to find a way to be happy for his best friend, even if everything in him wants to be petulant.  _

_ Jensen looks stricken by the words, tears coming to his eyes before he turns his head away from Jared, staring out the drivers’ side window. “We lost the baby,” is all he says, emotion thick in his throat, causing the words to come out with a sob.  _

_ Jared feels like the biggest asshole on the planet at this moment, he has been jealous and angry at Jensen for months, but he never wanted anything like this to happen. “Oh my God,” he grabs at the other man’s arm, forcing him to look at him. “What happened?”  _

_ Jensen sniffles, wiping his face on his shirt sleeve and trying his damned to not let anymore tears fall. If his father could see him now. ‘Men don’t cry Jensen, dry it up.’ His dad’s voice echoing in his head only makes him want to cry harder.  _

_ Jared gets out of the car and opens the drivers’ side door, shoving the sobbing man over and starts the engine. He drives silently to the hotel where Jensen always stays and asks for the key card. He guides the other man up the elevator and down the hall towards the room.  _

_ Once he opens the door and sits Jensen on the end of the bed next to him, he wraps an arm around his shoulders and asks again, “What happened?” _

_ Jensen shrugs, he smiles a little pathetically and says, “I don’t know, the doctor said that it happens sometimes. Maybe it’s my fault.”  _

_ “What? Why would you say that?” Jared is suddenly furious, with the man seated next to him, with Reverand Ackles, with every fucking body, himself included.  _

_ “I think maybe God is punishing me,” Jensen says slowly, barely above a whisper.  _

_ “You listen to me, God is not punishing you. You are not a bad person and there is absolutely nothing wrong with you, do you understand me?” Jared says it harsher than he means to, but he needs Jensen to understand.  _

_ Jensen doesn’t look convinced, but he nods his head anyway. Jared doesn’t know what else to do, so he kicks off his shoes, removes the boots that Jensen has on and gathers him up in arms and lays back against the bedspread.  _

  
  


_ Jensen wakes up a few hours later, the light that was slipping around the curtains in the room has gotten dimmer and he has sweated where Jared still has a death grip around him, both men still fully clothed. Jensen guesses that you really can cry yourself to sleep, but the nap did wonders for him because laying here, his back spooned tightly up against Jared’s chest makes him feel better than he has in weeks.  _

_ “Feeling better?” Jared asks, his lips at the nape the smaller man’s neck.  _

_ Jensen just nods in the low light of the room, tangling the hand of the arm that Jared has slung over his stomach with his own and closing his eyes again.  _

_ The next time Jensen wakes up, it is from a knock at the door and Jared gets up to allow a room service tray to be rolled into the space. “You probably need to try and eat something, you’ve been asleep a long time.”  _

_ Jensen looks over at the clock on the nightstand, it is after eight-thirty and he has been asleep for almost six hours. “Shit,” is all he says before grabbing his phone off of the dresser and taking it into the bathroom.  _

_ Jared busies himself with getting food out on the table in the small room, it is just burgers and fries from the restaurant down stairs. The food is exorbitantly priced for what it is, but he really doesn’t feel like leaving the room. It isn’t like they normally have dinner or small talk when they are together. In fact, they usually don’t talk much at all, at least not in coherent sentences.  _

_ Jensen finally comes out of the bathroom and sits across the table from him, he still looks tired but seems better than he had in the car earlier. Jared is still afraid to say much about it, finally deciding on, “You guys can try again in a bit, right?”  _

_ Jensen wasn’t expecting that to come out of the other man’s mouth, but he nods, reaching across the space to open one of the coke cans that came up with their dinner.  _

  
  


_ There is an unspoken agreement after, where Jared doesn’t mention it again, nor does he touch Jensen again in a way that can be construed as sexual or inappropriate. Besides draping an arm over his shoulder or pulling him into his side, Jared does what he hasn’t in years. He acts like his best friend.  _

_ It turns out to be one of the only times that they actually talk like two guys who have known each other for their entire lives, cracking jokes and poking fun at one another until Jensen is yawning and trying not to fall asleep. He doesn’t want to go to sleep because this will end and he never wants it to. This has been one of the best days he has had in years and there hadn’t been a single kiss or touch that wasn’t platonic. Jensen wonders why it is that he can’t have both, why is it always either/or with them? Why can’t he have his best friend and be in love with him at the same time?  _

Jensen shakes the memory away, he opens up his computer and clicks on an email that Jared had sent him a few weeks ago, one that he hadn’t been able to delete. There is a simple message that says,  _ Developed some pics from my Browning, thought you’d like to see them - Jay  _

They couldn’t have been over fifteen, standing in front of the beach house with their arms slung around each other. One shot is of both boys smiling at the camera, both with white smiles and dimples on display. The next shows Jensen looking at the camera, but Jared is looking at him. He looks like you could replace his eyes with cartoon hearts, the amount of love that is shining in his eyes and directed at him. Jensen wonders if Jared has always been in love with him. When he thinks about it, really thinks about it, he honestly can’t remember a time when he wasn’t in love with Jared. He was scared and maybe didn’t want to be head over heels, but he knows that it has always been there, quietly in the background of their childhood. 

Once he looks at the clock and sees how late it is, he closes down the computer and goes back upstairs. His son is still sleeping contently, thumb in his mouth, and curled up on his side. 

After he quietly undresses and climbs into his bed, careful not to wake Ella, her soft snores coming out in the otherwise quiet room, he thinks about that night again and Jared telling him the next morning that  _ Everybody hurts, you just have to hold on and let it pass.  _ Jensen thinks that might be the best advice his best friend has ever given him. 


End file.
